Where do I begin? There’s so much to catch up on. And I haven’t posted any cool tech stuff lately or anything. I haven’t had any time to read up on any of that in what seems like forever. It’s crazy what vacation will do to you…and buying a house and looking for a job and blah, blah, blah. Hey, I just checked my answering machine here at home. The first was one of the recruiters I’ve been talking to and I’ll get to that later, but the second was this guy who mumbles, “May I speak to *stumbling over pronunciation* Ran-dall Hem-ing-way please….Hello?…..Hello?…….Hello?” *click* The best part is our answering machine message has been erased from moving the phone around and stuff so it’s just the standard robotic woman saying, “No one is available at this time, blah, blah, blah” (she really says the blah thing. call us, you’ll see. ok, she doesn’t really, but you can still call if you want to…only if you have something to talk about). Craaaaazy. All right, well, I’ve got a HR rep from one company calling me on Monday to do a phone screening to “get to know a little more about me.” I can imagine why they do this:
*slow blurry, rippling fade to HR manager’s office. enter backwoods redneck*
Backwoods Redneck: Well hay-de-hoo there! What’s goin’ on, friend? That fine young lady out front thur told me I could come right on in.
HR Manager: *forcing smile while taking in BR’s tattered outfit* Yes, come on in. You must be BR. Nice to meet you.
BR: Oh, and mighty nice to meet youse, too. *smiling with all one tooth*
HR: Now, you’re here for the Personnel Management is that correct?
BR: Sho is, yessir.
HR: Excellent. Do you have any previous management experience?
BR: Well, as I’m shore you’ve read on my reezoomee right thur in front of youse, I’ve had 10 children, all needing their fair share of management, if you know what I mean? *whispering behind hand* Larry the Cable Guy says that. He is so funny. I tell you what –
HR: *interrupting* Yes, well, have you ever worked somewhere where you would have to prepare expense reports or performance charts or anything of that nature?
BR: *staring blankly, then getting a knowing twinkle in his eye* Sir, I file my taxes every year. And I do ‘em mighty well, too. Don’t even have ter use a cumpooter to do ‘em neither! Young Betsy knows all about them things, but I’ve never –
HR: *abruptly* All right, well, BR, we’ll be getting back to you in a couple of days about the position. Thank you for coming and I’ll be sure to wash your chair, I mean, call you back on this.
*quick fade back to the present* Yeah, phone screening is probably a good idea, now that I think about it. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. I think I’ve got a couple recruiters trying to get me into the same job. The job descriptions sound the same. I guess I’ll find out when I get hired twice. That’s gotta look good on a resume!
This morning, at 4:30, I woke up to my bed shaking! I just looked at the ceiling, trying to get my brain to process this. Once I finally got my head around the fact that it was an earthquake, I just kind of thought, Well, that was cool. Then, I tried, unsuccessfully to get back to sleep for that precious last hour. Once I finally got to work (kind of slept in. Oops!) people were saying, “Yeah, we’re on this big ol’ fault line and we could fall into the belly of the earth at any time and we’ll all die anyway, so why not by being swallowed by the earth” and all this kind of stuff. Ok, they weren’t really saying that but me and the guy I golf with were joking about it. Tomorrow’s headlines: San Francisco and Eastern Missouri shaken off the face of the earth! Well, I guess you had to be there.
Just another quick note before I go because I’m tired of typing. I shot a 61 on my first night in the golf league. I was happy. Most of my shots went fairly straight and through the air. I’m just doing it for fun and I want to keep it that way. Hope I can get a little better though. All right, I’m done. Go enjoy your weekend and stop reading boring blogs!
Maybe they can have a salary war and you can choose the one that offers the most pay.
You never know.
I love your writing–can I edit your book when you decide to go public?